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LEO (July 23
to August 22) -
You will be feeling sluggish and irritable this month. You might
think it is the result of feelings of frustration at the direction
of your life and recent set-backs, but really you just need
to fix the air conditioner. |
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VIRGO (August
32 to September 22) -
Troubles in your romantic relationship are brewing under the
surface. Pretending they aren't there and hoping they will
go away is the best plan.
|
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LIBRA (September
23 to October 22) -
The light finally has changed and you can charge forward with
your life, or so it will appear. Once you get near the second
Sogo you will be stuck in traffic once again. |
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SCORPIO (October
23 to November 21) -
The stars are very specific on this point: avoid the post office
or you will find yourself covered in gooey paste and stuck to
the counter. |
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SAGITTARIUS (November
22 to December 21) -
Want some direction in life? Here it is: proceed north for about
six blocks and then turn right. What you are looking for is
three or four doors down and on the left hand side of the street.
|
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CAPRICORN (January
19 to December 22) -
Now that you have been released from your institution (or school)
it's time to go out and live life to its fullest. Savour the
excitement that freedom brings and do all the things you've
always dreamed of: take a long vacation, study art, drag race
with teenagers, rob a bank dressed as a Rockette or bake cookies!
The sky is the limit for you this month Capricorn! |
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AQUARIUS (February
18 to January 20) -
You will feel drawn to nature this month, with hiking in the
mountains being particularly favoured. Once up in the mountains
your vehicle will be buried in a mudslide, you will be abandoned
in the pouring rain, you will be bitten by a snake and finally,
delirious and half starved you will drag yourself into a small
village. For years afterward you will bore everyone to death
with talk of how this was a character building incident and
how thankful you are for having gone through it. So get yourself
some hiking boots and start planning right away! |
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PISCES (February
19 to March 20) -
A childhood dream will re-assert itself. No, not the one about
the giant bugs from outer space and you in a tight gold and
red nylon suit saving the planet - the other one. Consider carefully
why this dream has returned to you at this juncture of your
life (besides the fact that your life is dull, pointless and
heading nowhere fast). |
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ARIES (March
21 to April 19) -
If there are any Pisces in your life that say you bug them,
you may find yourself having terrible nightmares about that
person dressing up in a tight red and gold nylon suit and killing
you. |
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TAURUS (April
20 to May 20) -
When a helmeted stranger on Hua Mei St. (µØ¬üµó) offers you a box
of box of betel nut (bin lang - Âb·}) for NT$100, hold out and
with your great negotiating skills you will discover you can
haggle him down to NT$50 for the same box! |
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GEMINI (May 21
to June 20) -
Listening to a song you haven't heard for years will bring several
minutes of fond memories, and a whole day of depression wondering
where all those years went. Get a grip, you're getting old -
what, did you think it was something that only happened to other
people? |
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CANCER (June
21 to July 22) -
You might wonder, were 1000-year-old eggs (pi dan - ¥Ö³J) the
model for Dr. Suess' 'Green eggs and ham'? |
