 All words, no action: The dating world's first and foremost taboo
You may encounter someone who talks about how much they want to have a real relationship. However, you don't see them going out or actually doing something about it. Their daily routine includes going straight home after work and watching TV with some snacks. As time goes by, what they really desire will not happen, for the simple fact that they aren't doing anything about it.
Your ideal mate will not fall from the sky, so please walk away from the television! The best thing to do is put your thoughts (and words) into action. Regardless of how it's arranged, plan an actual date or meeting, be it through social networking, building an on-line profile of yourself, or joining a club that you are interested in. You can try participating in activities that interest you, or ones you are passionate about. Whether that's signing up for an astrology class, or a new class at the gym, the purpose is to take action to expand your social circle while living life to the fullest. Doing these things is far better than sitting at home and waiting for opportunity to knock on your door. You get to meet more people from different backgrounds. We all know the phrase, "Actions speak louder than words"; if you are not being aggressive enough to get out and do something about your social life, are you willing to wait until you turn old and gray?
Don't always expect to settle with the perfect one. Instead, choose the person who's really right for you.
Being in a romantic relationship is just like learning to drive a car. You must first grab the steering wheel and learn how it all works! Stop thinking that one of these days a rich, handsome and gentle Prince Charming (or Princess Charming if you're a guy) will come into your life. The truth is you are getting older by the day and the person of your dreams is probably already taken, so why dwell on it? The men and women that you find easy on the eyes are either in a relationship or already married, so drop the "I will find the perfect one for me" idea and learn to face reality.
Instead, evaluate who your potential dating candidates are, or create ways to meet them. Use a magnifying glass, a microscope or even a telescope--the point here is to make the effort to search for the right person to be with. That person might not be number one on your dating list. However, you only really understand someone after their physical appearance wears off and you get to interact with them and learn who they are inside. This usually results in a brand-new perspective on the other person (hopefully a better one). A person's beliefs and virtues should be more important than their physical appearance; as people would say, "Beauty is only skin deep". What you see on the outside isn't as important as what's within a person's heart and soul. As you get to spend more time with them, you in return get to understand who they are and are able to communicate freely, to find out if that chemistry really exists. Then, just maybe, you will discover that your Mr. or Mrs. Right is within arm's reach.
Fantasy is always far from reality
Have you ever had the experience of having someone seem great and sweet in every way when you first started dating them, but finding they were very different from who you thought they were when you actually got to hang out more? Regardless of such situations, the best thing is to date a little while and learn about what strategies you should take in being with another person. These experiences allow you to understand and evaluate who you are in relationships, and how much unpleasantness you can take.
As for the Prince Charming image that you sought in a potential partner, let such things remain in the romance novels. Fantasy is always far from reality and real interaction between two people is the key. Once you've been through a few relationships, you will really learn how to get the man or woman you love. If you don't want to be alone on Valentine's Day, then stop, crawl out of your shell, forget your own taboos, and give yourself and another person a chance.
Live your life
There are plenty of self-help books out there that always tell you to lead a confident life, a life that belongs to you. However, self-confidence should be something that shines out from within, something that is not just talk but includes action. If you can't look at your flaws and do something about them, then listen to your friends and their advice. These flaws could be something to do with your physical appearance, your attitude or your personality. If there is action you can take to improve yourself, then take it. Standing out from the crowd means understanding and being in control of your personal style and character.
Aggressively pursue what you want in life, but maintain a laid-back attitude in love
Being aggressive when it comes to making friends helps underline your ambition and sincerity. However, it is just as important to have a laid-back attitude in a relationship. This is represented by respect and optimism, and the fact that you put no pressure on the other person. If you aren't attentive or relaxed when going out with someone, all you do call attention to yourself and both of you will end up feeling uptight and nervous. At a basic level, it comes down to the fact that "your personality makes your fate". You are the key to whether or not you can find a suitable partner. All the weird habits or flaws in your personality need to dealt with before you walk into a relationship.
For example: If you believe in horoscopes and Chinese zodiac signs, or even blood types, and you give up the chance to be with someone just because the books tell you that the two of you are not compatible, then you are really missing out on that chance to find the right person. Or, if you are someone who wants to find a good-looking guy that's at least six feet tall, or a model-like girlfriend, perhaps you should look in the mirror before you judge. Learn to have sensitivity towards the other person while keeping a rational mind in love. Be in wise in affairs of the heart and it will do you a lot of good!
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February 2009
